I can't believe it is Tuesday already. I seriously woke up this morning and thought it was Monday. Someone had to convince me that I was wrong! These first few days of training camp have been a rigorous process of "unpacking" ourselves so that we can surrender what needs to be surrendered and receive everything the Lord wants to give us in preparation for The World Race. We have learned from incredible teachers and participated in various activities to help us unpack.

One of those activities was writing a grief journal. A grief journal is basically giving yourself a time and space to grieve the losses in your life. Most people do not take the time to grieve. Personally, I found that there were some things in my life I had grieved but others that I had just ignored and not taken the time to bring to Jesus. It was amazing how taking the time to grieve even the smaller things like not taking dance classes anymore or not having the comfort of my bed for a year released me and gave me so much more joy and freedom. One of the teachers explained a concept I know well in my own life and have seen in others lives: we can't shut down the feelings of pain that loss brings us without shutting down feelings of joy and peace on the other side. Numbing ourselves to our pain cuts us off from the peace God wants to bring us. When we choose to be courageous enough to face our pain and bring it to God, he grants us a joy and freedom that makes us wish we had done it a lot sooner!

So far Training camp has been an enriching, difficult and rewarding process. I thank Jesus for the work he is doing in me to prepare me for The World Race. Through the next few days we will begin doing more team building and cultural training to launch us into our ministry. Our constant prayer is "Lord, I give you permission to do anything you need to do in me so that you may do everything you want to do through me."

To see a video of our accommodations here in Georgia that Brandon, one of my September teammates, made click here.  I was excited to find new cabins that weren't here in April, so no tents! 

Many people have asked me to let them know how much money still needs to be raised for this mission trip.  I am excited to say that I have raised $11,500 so far!  That leaves $1,500 that I still need. 

I want to thank those who have supported me so generously already.  This is truly God's trip.  He has shaped it from the beginning and I know He will continue to shape it throughout the year.  Certainly I could not have come up with such a large sum of money myself, but it was no problem for Him!  He continues to teach me what it means to trust and to be obedient. 

If you feel a prompting at all to support me financially on this trip I just ask that you pray about it and seek what God would have you do.  I know that He knows where the $1,500 is coming from.   Perhaps it is all from one person, perhaps it is in $50 increments...maybe it is people contributing a small amount monthly.  If you do choose to contribute, the easiest way to do so is to click on the "Support Me" link on the left hand side of this page--it gives you the option of an online donation or mailing a donation to Adventures in Missions.  All donations made from this site will go to my account. 

I will post an update when I have reached my support goal!  God bless you all!

I leave in one month.  Four weeks and three days from now I will be almost to Atlanta to begin training, and shortly after I will leave with my team to our first destination.  Surely I have been aware that my leaving date is getting closer and closer, but something about tomorrow being August 1st makes it seem really CLOSE. 

I have "left" a lot of different times in my life.  I left for India for a month when I was 16.  I left for college in Colorado after high school.  I left and spent 6 months in China a couple years ago.  However, there is something about this leaving that is different. 

Maybe it is that I am going for a year.  Maybe it is that I'm going for a year and still don't know exactly where I'm going.  Maybe it is that I'm a littler older and wiser this time...or maybe it is more than that. 

Something about leaving for a year and leaving everyone and (almost) everything behind leaves me feeling a plethora of mixed emotions.  I am sad to leave my friends and my family, and  I am excited to get to know my team.  I am a little uncomfortable about the thought of leaving the comforts of home, and I am thrilled at the opportunity to see how few comforts I really need.  I am concerned about leaving my support network, and I am in anticipation of learning what it means to truly rely on God's support.  There are so many more, but it is all very similar--I am leaving what is comfortable and venturing into what is unknown.  It is scary, exhilarating, exhausting and stimulating all at the same time. 

As I have gone through the preparation process so far I have learned one thing: God gave me the heart and passion I need to go and love on people around the world--and that's all I need to know.  He will be there with me every step of the way and he will take care of the details.  He wants me to keep my focus on him and on preparing my heart to break, ache and GROW as I discover more and more of his heart for the world.

Do you ever have days when you feel like you are swinging back and forth between the truth that you know is real and the lies that seem real? The lies come from all directions: from inside our minds, from the people around us, from the media…a constant barrage of nonsense that Satan twists and manipulates to assault us at our core.

The closer I get to The World Race, the more this warfare intensifies. Putting on the full armor of God has rarely seemed so imperative to my journey as it does right now.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand...

When I feel insecure about myself, I will choose to believe the truth that I am loved and valuable.

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist…

When I feel alone in my struggle and my journey, I will remember that Jesus really is always there and He wants to spend time with me.

With the breastplate of righteousness in place…

When I feel bound by sin and the flaws of my flesh, I will claim my freedom in Christ.

And with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace…

When I feel weak in mind, body, and spirit, I will tap into the strength that can only come from the Lord.

Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one…

When I doubt my place in this world and the mission I have been called to do, I will declare my faith in the sovereign God whose knowledge surpasses my understanding.

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God…

When fear threatens to close in, I will choose to trust that Jesus can teach me to trust Him completely.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

Ephesians 6:11-18

None of this is easy, but all of it is true. With each choice I make to claim my identity in Christ it becomes easier to press into Him and claim victory over Satan. I refuse to allow the enemy to trample me, and if that means I have to swing back and forth between recognizing the lies and renouncing them with truth 100 times a day, then 100 times a day it is. It is exhausting, but not as exhausting as living in lies that Satan uses to bind and destroy us.

I am thankful for this practice using the valuable weapons Jesus provides me, because I know it is just a taste of the battle raging around the world that He is preparing me to fight in.

Total access.  It's a theme that has come up consistently in my life over the last year.  Americans are used to living in a compartmentalized reality.  For some it just makes life easier, for some it is a means to survival, and for all it is a way to deal with one thing/person/emotion while shutting everything else out.

How does this compartmentalization carry over to our relationship with Jesus?  For me, I like to "allow" Jesus in to the parts of me that I'm ok with.  I'll talk to Him about church, loving people, school, etc.  I'll lift up friends and family in prayer.  I'll even vent to Him when I'm feeling frustrated about something.  However, He has shown me that He wants more.

Jesus wants into those areas of my life that are more difficult.  He wants to be a part of my emotional struggles. He wants to help me be more healthy physically.  He wants access to my wounds and the deepest areas of my life. 

Perhaps the reason that it can be so difficult to give Him this access sometimes is because I don't always like to think about these hard areas of my life.  I compartmentalize them in my mind so they don't dominate my thoughts, and I don't often choose to stop to think about them with Jesus either.

Unfortunately, it's backwards to think that way.  "If I don't think about it, then I don't have to really deal with it, and I don't have to take the risk of talking to Jesus about it."  The reason Jesus wants more access from us is so that He can give us more.  He wants to release us from the difficult lies that hold us back.  He wants to heal our wounds in a way that only He can.  He wants to reveal beautiful truths about ourselves to us that we can use to grow.   

Every time I have chosen to let Jesus in He has shown up.  He tends my wounds, uncovers the lies, and protects me from deception when I choose to rest in Him.  I don't have to put on a show for Jesus.  He already knows anyways.  I don't have to change everything about my life so that He will accept me.  He accepts me just the way that I am.  Nothing I can do will make Jesus love me any more than He already does, but I can keep myself from experiencing that love by closing Him out.

It is time to stop presenting Jesus only with the life that we are proud of and start inviting Him in to every part of our lives.  There is no condemnation in Christ.  He desires intimacy with us, and intimacy begins with vulnerability.

Who better to let in than the One who already knows?

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

I recently returned from a two-week trip to Zimbabwe, Africa with a group from my church in Kentwood, Michigan. This was my first trip to Africa, and as I reflect on my experience there the overwhelming sensation that stands out in my mind is "Spirit." The Spirit of God was present, powerful, and pervasive in nearly every situation I found myself in.

The day we arrived in Zimbabwe we ran a youth retreat for young adults. The theme for the retreat was Flesh vs. Spirit and we spent time unpacking the "flesh" and the "Spirit." We talked about the power of the Spirit over the flesh and tools for walking in the Spirit. We each had a small group where we were able to spend time getting to know the participants individually and talk to them about their struggles with the flesh and the Spirit.

Secretly, I was struggling internally with my doubts and inadequacies. Thoughts kept running through my mind like, "how do you think you can lead a small group about this when you struggle to walk in the Spirit?" and "how am I supposed to connect with them when I really do not understand their daily struggles?"

I prayed for my interaction, and as I asked questions of the girls in my group I got to see how God was moving in their hearts and lives and transforming them. I don't think I will soon forget the look in their eyes as they realized they had POWER in the Spirit that they could claim. I was reminded of the power of the Spirit that is in me.

We also had the opportunity to visit two orphanages and a feeding center while we were there. The number of children with no parents and no place to go was staggering to me. My heart melted as I held babies, sang children's music, and taught them the memory verse, "When I am afraid, I will trust in God." God reminded me that He is big enough to take care of all their fears and my fears too.

One of my favorite moments in Zimbabwe was at a women's meeting in one of the lady's backyard. We had tea and were chatting with each other when all the sudden a few of the women started singing. Within moments all the ladies were on their feet singing beautifully, dancing, and raising their hands to the Lord. I was momentarily stunned, and then I got up with the other women in my group and joined in. I didn't know the words, but it didn't matter. It was all about God. Loving God, praising God, and seeking God. Afterwards I felt so blessed to have had that experience and humbled at my own inhibited, self-conscious nature when worshipping that seems "normal" in America.

All in all, Zimbabwe was a wonderful, beautiful place where the Spirit of God is alive and well in the midst of hardship, sickness and poverty.   It is impossibly to truly describe what took place over there and how the Spirit moved.  Their desire to know God and their genuine dependence on Him brings their faith to levels I have rarely seen before.  We went to spend time with them, to encourage them, to try to meet some of their basic needs, and we left feeling humbled, blessed and challenged.  The effect was exhilarating and exhausting.  It only took me three days to begin praying a prayer I will probably be praying a lot over the next year:

Jesus, please open my heart, break down my walls, continually bring my focus back to you and give me the energy for tomorrow. Amen

Where the Spirit of the Lord is there truly is freedom.  For me one of the greatest freedoms I have is the freedom to be transformed into His likeness.  I love how the verse says we are being transformed with ever-increasing glory.  Sometimes the transformation does not feel glorious.  Sometimes it feels downright ugly as I struggle with my flesh and I learn what it means to trust in God.  However, no matter how "ugly" it feels I know that my transformation has little to do with me and everything to do with Him.  In His time, in His way, I am being guided down a path of growth, love, and a Spirit-filled life of freedom.  That path took me to Zimbabwe where I was reminded of the great power of the Spirit that transcends all human boundaries and it is taking me on the World Race.

Please pray for the people of Zimbabwe and for me as I prepare mentally, physically and emotionally for the World Race.